Nice Date... Anyone down for Vegas! I bet the tables are jumpin' today. So what are we going to do with this blog... My initial thoughts were to use it as therapy, my own of course. To share my life, the ups and downs. Where I am now, vice where I was worried I'd be. Thoughts as a parent, thoughts about my parents. Thoughts of my kids, thoughts of my siblings...
Let's start here.. Lucky, Deserving, Fortunate, Pitty, Lucky(again)
Luck to be where I'm at...
Child hood was rough, to say the least. How many times have you heard that... I'll try not to put too many tears in my beer on my first post. There will be plenty of posts for that! I promise! So I'll just hit the points for now. A good percentage of kids that grew up with a drug addict, abusive( i could go on) fathers, homeless at times, abused and so on, don't normally end up where I am today. Very
Lucky..
Deserving..?? I don't know sometimes. It's a struggle that I'm sure many people go through. Some even say, that before you can truly be successful and happy, you have to believe that you do deserve it. That you are worthy of it. Don't keep asking yourself, "How can this poor, homeless boy from West Long Beach be deserving of this?". Sometimes these thoughts become destructive, depressing. Writing this is actually putting me in that state of mind. Good or bad?? Therapeutic maybe? I hope so.
Fortunate..??
Definitely! I could go on forever on this one! But I'll just touch on it for now. I am, to me, the most fortunate person in the world! I have an amazing family! Shoes on my feet, roof over my head, unconditional love of my kids and fiance. Food in the fridge, gas in the car, a car...period. I remember day dreaming that someone would give me a car for an act of kindness they saw me do. Crazy huh?!
Pitty..??
For what? For a lot, in my eyes. For my brother who's in prison, for pictures of my siblings in an empty apartment with dirty clothes on while I lived in Hawaii while in the Marine Corps. For my kids having to share a room. For making bad financial decisions that are costing me today. For not measuring up... to what? To everything I wished my father was for me. To everything I want to be for my kids. They deserve more... My Fiance deserve more. I know she love me, but she questions the decisions I'll make in the future, because of the decisions I've made in the past. I can't blame her. I don't deserve her.
Lucky..??
I don't know... keep reading...
I don't even know if I have the guts to post this stuff for everyone to read, judge, criticize... We'll see.
